How to Use Gratitude to Make Every Day Better
Tips and Prompts for a meaningful gratitude practice
I have read, listened, or talked to probably a hundred people about their experience developing a gratitude practice. All of them echoed the same experience I had. It sounded good, in theory. I started writing down things I was grateful for each day and by day 5 I realized I was just writing the same things every day. Maybe you have tried and noticed the same thing. But I couldn’t let it go because the brain science was so compelling. Our brains are mysterious, but they are also obedient! Our brain will look for whatever we tell it we are looking for! This is the Reticular Activating System. I remember when I first discovered Kendra Scott jewelry. So many of her pieces have her signature look to them. I noticed some earrings on someone and mentioned how much I liked them. She told me they were Kendra Scott, which I had never heard of. After that, I noticed everyone wearing Kendra Scott jewelry everywhere I looked! Maybe you have had an experience like that.
Let me give you another example. At Harvard University in 1999 two researchers, Daniel Simons and Christopher Chabris conducted an experiment in order to observe how attention limits perception. In this very famous study, participants were instructed to watch a video of 2 basketball teams passing a ball back and forth and were instructed to count the number of passes one of the teams made. In the middle of the video, a man in a gorilla suit walks through and thumps his chest. The man in the gorilla suit was visible in 9 seconds of the video. When asked about the video, only half of the participants reported seeing the man in the gorilla suit! Where we choose to put our focus matters!
When we start or end the day thinking about all the things that are wrong in our life or worries and stress, our brain will spend the whole day looking for more worries and stress. But, if we start our day thinking of thinking of the good things in our life, our brains will be primed to look for more good things as we go about our day. And when your brain is actively seeking out things to be grateful for, you are bound to see more good than bad. It trains our brains to savor the positive elements in our lives, which, of course, feels way better than dwelling on the negative. This doesn’t mean that we can ignore the challenges in our lives. But bringing our focus to the positive, remembering all the ways that things have always worked out before, noticing the people, places, and moments that make our lives beautiful builds strength and resilience. It gives us clarity and perspective and all these things together make us better equipped to face challenges. Here are some of my favorite prompts to journal about to prime my brain each day to seek out good things:
· What was my favorite moment of the day?
· What will I always want to remember about this day?
· How did someone else make my day great?
· What did I do to serve someone else?
· What ten words best describe my day?
· What do I have to look forward to or be excited about?
Give it a try. I promise that no matter what you are going through, taking time to document the blessings of every day will be a worthwhile practice and help you build a life you love!
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